yellow lines

So good people, here’s a pop quiz for you. Why do our streets here in the good U.S. of A. have double yellow lines? Is it because some one thought that splash of yellow would brighten up our day?

No, dolt (and yes, I just used dolt. It has creeped into my vocabulary). Those pretty little lines of colour in the middle of the road means no passing. Which means, you have to drive behind no matter what because you cannot not pass over double yellow lines. Which means, you must follow the leader.  Which means, you shall not pass.

So, dim-wit, if I desire to drive the posted 25 mph speed limit, or maybe let my speedometer tickle that little line and drop occassionaly below 25 because you’re being an asshole, driving in my backseat, you must follow me.

Didn’t your mother ever tell you that patience is a virtue?

Well apparently not, because you decided to pass me. Over the double, very solid, double lines. Which, I, being the intelligent being I am, knew you would totally do because of the swerving lights bouncing in my rearview mirror.

Just know that I totally could have made your night a living nightmare by making you choose between sideswiping me, hitting that oncoming car in the opposite lane because you were an asshole and tried to pass me over double yellow lines which indicate a no passing zone to the intelligent or hitting a lamppost. All at your cost because you would have been at fault.

But I slowed down and let you be the Asshole of the Day.

Oh, and by the way, I have your license plate number.

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